Takeaways
- You don’t need to clear your mind.
- You don’t need to control your thoughts.
- Just notice them, and let them pass.
- That’s often enough for your mind to settle
There’s nothing wrong with your mind.
It just needs a different way to settle.
Introduction
Learning to settle a busy mind can take time, but there are ways you can become less involved with your thoughts. If your mind won’t switch off at night, you may have tried meditation and found it didn’t really work for you. That’s very common. Most approaches focus on clearing your mind, which is much harder than it sounds. Here, I’ll show you a different way to use meditation for sleep — one that helps you handle a busy mind without fighting it.
Learning to Settle a Busy Mind
So many of us struggle to quieten a busy mind at night. I discovered that’s pretty well impossible to force your mind to still. So if that’s what you’ve been trying, it’s no wonder it hasn’t worked.
People often think meditation means clearing your mind or stopping your thoughts.
Although your mind can learn to settle in time, it isn’t designed to switch off on command.
Trying to stop your thoughts is a bit like standing on a bridge over a motorway and trying to will all the cars to stop.
You are not in control of your thoughts, any more than you can control the cars — or the pendulum on a grandfather clock.
The more you try, the more alert and frustrated you become.
A Different Way to Approach Meditation
For me, meditation really became useful when I stopped trying to “do it properly”.
Thoughts are a natural part of meditation.
You can have a busy meditation or a peaceful one — it really doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you notice, and come back to watching your thoughts again.
Watch them rise and fall, like the waves on a beach.
King Canute could not control the waves any more than you can control your thoughts.
Sometimes, you may notice that your thoughts quieten.
It is important not to criticise yourself or beat yourself up — you are not in control of them.
You don’t need to stop your thoughts.
You just need to watch them.
And over time, you’ll find you don’t get so pulled into them.
Watching Your Thoughts
This is one of the simplest and most helpful things I teach.
At night, thoughts can feel very real and very urgent:
- replaying conversations
- worrying about tomorrow
- going over things you can’t solve at 2am
The more you engage with them, the more awake you become.
Instead, I might suggest you imagine your thoughts like waves on a beach.
They roll in…
they rise…
and then they fall away again.
You don’t have to chase them or push them back.
They come and go on their own.
Or think of them like traffic on a motorway.
You’re not standing in the middle trying to stop it.
You’re watching it pass.
Why This Helps You Sleep
Sleep doesn’t come from effort.
It comes from letting go.
When your mind is busy, your body stays alert.
When your mind begins to settle, your body can follow.
Watching your thoughts gives you a bit of space.
And often, that’s all that’s needed.
“I’ve Tried Meditation and It Didn’t Work”
Most people who tell me this have been trying to do something quite difficult:
- empty their mind
- control their thoughts
- or “get it right”
That’s hard work.
And it keeps the brain switched on.
This approach is different.
There’s nothing to achieve.
Nothing to get right.
You’re just changing your position slightly — from being in your thoughts to watching them.
How to Use It
I don’t ask you to sit and meditate for long periods unless that suits you.
Instead, I show you how to use this in real life — especially at night.
We keep it simple and practical.
I do encourage breathing and my recordings to help you relax — but not as meditation.
This isn’t about distracting your mind or pushing thoughts away with breathing exercises.
It’s simply about noticing.
How to Start
When you have a minute or two during the day, just notice what is going on in your head.
After a while, you’ll begin to see how repetitive your thoughts are.
You can do the same at night.
Just notice the thoughts.
It’s natural to get pulled back into thinking — just come back and start watching again.
Like waves.
Like traffic.
That’s often where things begin to settle.
Ascension Meditation
I teach the Bright Path’s Ascension Meditation, over a weekend. https://www.thebrightpath.com/en/
